Being a religious studies major and an observer of religious lifestyles, this is not the first time I've considered the issue of personal modesty. Those that know me may be surprised to know that there have been time in my life when I've very strictly monitored what I wore and am contemplating doing so again.
When I was in late middle school and high school, my mother wanted me to dress a very specific way and it was not one of modesty. My mother wanted me to wear abercrombie and fitch, holister, and similar brands known for their skin-revealing clothing. The years of my high school were the ones which saw the rise and fall of the peek-a-boo thong, during which underwear were specifically designed to be worn over the waistband of one's jeans. I may have been clad in big ole boots and black fishnet (under a short sleeved shirt), but even I felt the impropriety was ludicrous. For a time in college I wore long skirts and head coverings, trying to feel-out my specific beliefs on modesty and to see how my dress impacted the behavior of others.
That said, here is where I currently stand on modesty in dress:
1. Wear things in which you are comfortable.
I'm not talking about physical comfort (though that should also be a consideration!). Wear things that fall within your moral safe zone. If you have Biblically held beliefs and you feel the correct mode of dress is long skirts and a head covering with no make-up; wear that. If you feel you're modest in cap sleeves and shorts that go halfway down the thigh, rock it. If you feel that the human body is sacred and feel comfortable showing yours off, wear that bikini. Because:
2. It's not what you wear, it's how you wear it.
What is important is the intention with which you garb yourself. I have seen women in long sleeves and a long dress shimmy their way along, drawing desirous gazes from men and women alike. I've seen people completely unrobed that are so pure in their hearts that it was as if original sin had never been imagined.
There are plenty of "modesty" clothes with sequins across the bust or lines drawing attention to the figure. If you are sincere in your intentions, then however you dress is going to be secondary. Why bother with the outward forms if you're working around them? It's how you move, how you speak, how you interact with others, and how you think. Which brings me to:
3. You are not in charge of what others think.
I've heard a lot of people in the modesty movement talking about using modest dress as a way to help others not stumble. If you personally and honestly feel that the way you dress is about showing respect to others, then cling to that. However, if you are wondering if what you wear may cause members of the opposite (or same) sex to have impure thoughts, you need to understand that we are all in charge of our own thoughts. If we see something that arouses us, it is up to each individual to control what direction his or her own train of thought runs. Shaming (mostly) women by telling them that they are leading their brothers and sisters to sin by the way they dress ignores the fact that what a person thinks is between them and god.. if a person cannot be held accountable for the decisions they make in privacy in their own heads, then what can people be held accountable for doing?
So then, it is not what is on the body that dictates modesty, it's what is in the heart.
Do you have difficulty with sitting meditation?
The benefits of meditation are touted far and wide, but many people find it difficult to sit and clear their minds. There are alternate sitting meditations, which I will cover further in later posts, but contrary to popular belief traditional seated meditation may not be the most beneficial. In others posts, I will cover not only different forms of meditations but will explain the four dignities.
Nontraditional sitting meditations can be beneficial for those that find their mind wandering too far during silent meditation. Some of the less traditional forms of still meditation include miksang, calligraphy, and stacking stones.
I took up stacking stones because I find it a much easier to clear my head when I'm not specifically attempting to clear my head. Rock stacking can be done with minimal monetary investment... all you need to do is find some rocks. Many people stack river rocks, because they are both visually appealing and more difficult to stack, being round. The water flowing over the stones causes them to wear smooth; an interesting visual metaphor. Other popular places to stack are on rocky beaches
and in the garden.
If you live, as I did until recently, in an urban or apartment environment... you can still engage in this activity. For many years, I kept an empty planting pot in my room ant later on my porch, filled with rocks for stacking. It allowed me to keep my rocks in a living area so that I did not forget to use them, and kept them neat. Since it would have been almost impossible to obtain stones when I first began, I purchased some medium-sized ornamental stones of the type used in flower arrangements and empty jars. These can be found at any craft store.
How to go about this? locate a flat surface. Slowly balance one stone upon another until you have an artfully structured arrangement. It's simple, but challenging.
